Detour
Haven’t had a lot of time to blog as of late. Life seems to be hectic as hell. So many things going on and not enough time to deal with everything. So some things get less attention that others. I guess time is something I complain that I never have enough of. I didn’t realize how true that really was until I got an email from a friend of mine a couple weeks ago. The email was from Monica, who is the wife of Lars, who is one of my oldest and dearest friends.
Monica’s email led off with an apology for not telling all of the recipients sooner that Lars is in battling cancer. The c-word, or the word you never ever want to hear in association with family, friends or even acquaintances, has infiltrated into my life with an email.
That probably sounds selfishly asinine, because I’m not the one actually fighting the disease. But it has become a part of my life, because Lars is one of the few people on this planet that I call a true friend. It’s really hard to explain why we’re friends, but we are. We are very different people, who now live so far apart, the only time I ever hear from him is when he’s contracting life threatening diseases. So his challenge is something all those close to him are now associated with. We are fighting this battle with him.
I’ve been thinking about how to broach the whole topic (which is another one of the reasons that I haven’t updated this blog in so long) and how it is in fact a life threatening disease. I was afraid that if I mentioned the fact that death could very much be a part of this whole ordeal that I would somehow be less supportive or callous.
After mulling it over for the past three weeks, I decided that dancing around the topic would be a disservice to the fight that Lars is currently embroiled in. There is a chance that he could die from this disease. He certainly understands that. Lars is not a person to sugar coat much of anything, so I would find it hard to believe that he’s looking past that part.
At least from the one phone conversation that I’ve had with him, it didn’t sound as if he’s looking past that part. There is however, a different tone in his voice. He’s not a spiritual person, but he sounds like a man who believes that there are now reasons to summon any divine assistance in the universe to get him through this thing.
I don’t really understand that part, and then again I do. It’s not a religious thing, but rather a way to channel his energy in order to fight something he cannot see or even feel. It’s a way to build a defense against a terrible adversary that he has to combat with medicine and will power.
I hope his new found spiritualism will provide him with the power to succeed. Not for his family, or for his friends, but for himself. For as complex as his life has been, he has yet to experience so many things. If he’s anything like me, he’s squandered the opportunity to experience all that life has to offer, and that would be unfortunate. What’s worse is that it takes experiences like these to recognize what we are squandering.
His chemotherapy recently started, so his life will be even tougher for a while. I told him that I’d make a trip to Columbus to see how he was doing after the initial chaos settles down. He has 6 months worth of treatment ahead of him, and I’m afraid people will be less inclined to stop by down the road. I hope not, but I suspect that everyone is trying to visit with him now, but he’ll really need those folks pulling for him down the road when the treatments get tougher to bare.
Until then, I think of him often. I don’t want to be a burden or distraction to him, but certainly want to provide whatever support he needs to get through these tough times.
This is an inconvenient detour in his life, but he will be a better person than all of us after it’s past him. I look forward to the day when his doctors give him a clean bill of health.
posted by Mike at 11:05 PM
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